Self-Management for Life course and Psychotherapy

Last night I had my first of six group sessions at the ProCare Self-Management for life course. And I must say - I feel really positive about it. It seems really well structured and we will cover topics such as

• using our minds to manage symptoms
• problem solving
• difficult emotions
• fitness
• better breathing
• pain
• fatigue
• nutrition
• future plans for health care
• communication
• medications
• making treatment decisions
• depression
• working with health care professionals and the health care system and
• future plans.

Each week we will also make action plans for the rest of the week. An action plan is a plan to do something WE WANT to do (not should or someone else's suggestion) that is achievable, action-specific and we need to define what its will be, how much of it we will do a when and how often and we must have a confidence level of 7 or greater that we will achieve the action. My action plan is to create a small painting over the period of the week and I will work on it half-an-hour a day.

I was concerned that I would be the only one there with depression and anxiety while others would have heart disease, cancer, emphysema, diabetes and other chronic illness - but it turned out every single one of us had some kind of depression/anxiety disorder - so we were all the same but different in that we all suffer the same illness but for different reasons and come from different backgrounds.

I really think this course is going to be very helpful. ***** came along as my support person and has found it so helpful thus far that he is going to continue to come along for the duration of the sessions. :) It is so wonderful to have someone so supportive who wants to understand and to know how to help.

This morning was my psychotherapy appointment and it was.......interesting....to say the least!

She was 10 min late which didn't help me any cos I got all panicky and agitated and was about to leave -I'd just put my business card under the locked door as she arrived.

Then it turned out she was a metaphysical psychotherapist and talked about me being stuck in the past and the future where I need to be in the NOW.

She believes that I'm obsessed with dying cos Dad talked about not making it to 40 and his Mum...Nana **** was a hypochondriac who spent 20 plus years in a rest home thinking she was dying and waiting to die and that probably rubbed off on Dad. Dad talked about not making it to 40 all the time. I remember walking up the stairs one night and he was sitting drinking Jim Beam and told me he wasn't going to live past 40 and that I had to look after ***** when he was gone. It freaked me out at the time - as if he 'knew' he was going to die young or that it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Of course - now I'm 40 and think I'm dying!! But perhaps he was depressed but we didn't know it in those days - thinking about death - and his self medicating by smoking and drinking.

But I also said I think I get it from both sides and said I think Mum has O.C.D and perfectionist traits and Nan used to have 'turns' where she would go out and have to come home and lie down on the couch. It is my suspicion now that she was getting panic attacks.

She believes it's my time to break the family cycle and make sure ***** doesn't get it. and then she starting talked about palm reading and clairvoyants and how she thinks I have a vital life energy and I'm not depressed just fearful and anxious.

Then she......of all things.......read my palm!!! She was pretty odd. She said that there was nothing in my palm to suggest that I would die young. I'm successful and creative apparently and have a spiritual side that I 've lost touch with. My health line looks good but does suggest problems with anxiety and digestion....similar to what I was told when I had my palm read in India where I was told I'd live into my early 80s!!

I'm to meditate and write up a gratefulness diary - as soon as I wake up I have to write down something I'm grateful for and that will set up myself for better thinking  during the day (this grateful diary thing is something I have to do for the above course too; only I have to write what I'm grateful for and how I've helped to make it happen to show me that I can and do still do good things).

Hmmmmm...so parts of the psychotherapy were good...I'll just take what I find useful from it and stick with the far more practical and empirical course!!