Glandular Fever Diary 2001

19th Sept

'Head felt like it was burning. Thought I might be having a stroke or haemorrhage, or maybe a brain tumour? Went and looked at my pupils in the mirror. Phew - they were even! Prior to all this I was working on the computer for an assignment. Felt like I had to go to the toilet in a hurry - sick of that. Started to write - trying to avoid taking a clonazepam. Feel a bit woozy. Don't recall what I was thinking about other than the intro for a red algae assignment!'

20th

' Yay, slept without needing to take clonazepam. Got up and showered but felt a bit shaky afterwards. Took a while to settle down after that. Scalp burning and head is heavy. Have Globus Hystericus. can't think of what triggered this. Picked up Claire Weekes 'Self help for your nerves' and read over symptoms of nervous illness again and again to reassure myself. I haven't taken a pill because I need to drive into town to do some photocopying and get a glue stick. Took 30 mg fluoxetine and had a lemon tea.

Ok...I give up, I'm taking a pill to settle me.

3pm - didn't take one. I have to accept this illness and slow down, stop fighting.

4pm - did take one. Someone came to check the roof and I can over all hot and giddy and urgent need for loo (couldn't go cos they were working right by the loo door!). Felt like I needed to call ***** straight away. I felt like I did at the Emergency Psych Services before they gave me the clonazepam. IT WENT AWAY THEN SO IT WILL GO AWAY NOW! 

I fell asleep. When I woke I was in a state of panic. Thought I'd taken too much clonazepam - but can't have only had half of a 0.5 mg pill!! Sleep probably did me good. I feel so very weak. My skin feels like it is burning - I'm nauseous. Scared again - fear of death and all that.

21st Sept

Oh boy - the dreaded morning feeling. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to still be alive, but after a decent nights sleep I expect to feel 100%. Of course I find myself disappointed. Head foggy, scalp burning. I'm not enjoying being at home because this is where it all started - but I'm bedroom bound now - severe agoraphobia. Change of scene would be good. I'm going to rearrange the bedroom furniture - after all, its bead Feng Sui to have your feet poking out towards the door from your bed - symbolises being carried out in a coffin. No way I want that!!

Somehow I managed to finish my poster - life history of the Floridean seaweed: Polysiphonia. Looks pretty damn good if I might say so myself! :)

To be continued......