PhD suspension - stinkin' head cold - and still with the hCG

Had a very constructive and beneficial meeting with my PhD Supervisors and DH. Upshot is that I am going to suspend my PhD until I am well enough to continue. My best option seems to be to suspend for one year although I can return whenever I feel I am well enough. I am to act as if this is a withdrawal though - in that I give up my office, return text books things like that - so that I am forced to have a complete break and not be thinking about what I think I 'should be' doing. Makes sense.
In the meantime I've come down with a stinking head cold that I just can't seem to shake.....I guess I'm so run down that I'll be prone to picking up everything that is going around for a while. Multivitamins and minerals here I come. Getting cold sores (haven't had one for over ten years) and styes in my eyes too - sure signs of being run down.

I still have sore breasts and I'm still spotting exactly three weeks to the day since the D and C. Since I still have sore breasts and my bras and jeans still don't fit again I decided - mainly out of curiosity - to take a home pregnancy test. Guess what? Still positive. Got myself into a bit of a panic that this may mean that I'm still retaining pregnancy tissue. I called the Womens' Assessment Unit and explained the situation - hCG can take anywhere from 4-6 weeks to reach undetectable levels especially if they were high to begin with - and mine were - 75000 IU/ ul

Explains the sore breasts and tingling nipples.....thank God I don't have morning sickness anymore. And I'm still getting the proctalgia fugax/levator ani or whatever it is. That pain started when I fell pregnant and was particularly bad immediately after the D and C so I wonder if it has more to do with my uterus or cervix or pelvic floor than my anus or rectum??!!! Ah well I've got a check up with my GP tomorrow - might even be free if I can give a positive pregnancy test!!!

I just want all this ill health and these upsets to end - please God haven't I suffered enough over the past year???!!

Missed Miscarriage - D&C here I come :(

It's been confirmed. The embryo has died but the gestational sac is still developing. This means that by some cruel misunderstanding by my body - I'm still getting morning sickness and assorted aches and pains.

Tuesday I will have a D and C - I can't stand to wait for Mother Nature to take her course - it could take weeks and I'll have to pass and look at clots. Same goes for medical management i.e misoprostol - pain clots etc; more scans to make sure all pregnancy tissue has passed.

I'm utterly miserable, my hormones are completely fucked up - no wonder I feel like shit. Big fat :(

Blighted Ovum?

Well....had a dating ultrasound yesterday (7 weeks exactly). A gestational sac was seen on abdominal ultrasound but the sonographer couldn't see anything within it. I was allowed to empty my bladder and she switched to intravaginal ultrasound. Again - the gestational sac but it seemed like she was spending forever looking at an empty sac. I said - 'Oh it doesn't look like there is anything in there'. She didn't say much other than maybe the dates are wrong - but I saw the gestational sac was measuring 6 weeks 4 days. Normally a yolk sac and tiny foetus are seen by this stage - especially with transvaginal. See zoomed right in and measured a tiny cluster of cells. Mumbled something about coming back for another scan in a week to 10 days and having my hcG blood levels checked.Couldn't detect a foetal heartbeat. So I'm thinking - this isn't looking good. The sonographer couldn't even look at me - there was awkward thank yous and we left. I burst into tears and explained to DH but he always sees things on the bright side.

I looked up 'normal 6 week scans and found these as a typical images:

Ultrasound picture at 6 weeks and 1 day of gestation
Yolk sac is seen to the left of the fetal pole (fetus)
Foetus has CRL, crown-rump length, of 4.3 mm (between cursors)
Foetal heartbeats were seen during these scans

My scan images looked more like these images of 'blighted ova' - actually - the bit she measured didn't even look this distinct.

More like this:

Ans so we anxiously wait. And in the meantime I have pain on my right side again; had bright red blood in my stools and have period like pains. I still have morning sickness symptoms but I fear they are a little less. So unfair to have been so sick with morning sickness if a baby isn't going to eventuate. I'm also feeling dizzy - but that could be depression/anxiety again.


P.S. I did end up miscarrying (by D and C) and the after effects are still apparent (17/06/2012)