PhD suspension - stinkin' head cold - and still with the hCG

Had a very constructive and beneficial meeting with my PhD Supervisors and DH. Upshot is that I am going to suspend my PhD until I am well enough to continue. My best option seems to be to suspend for one year although I can return whenever I feel I am well enough. I am to act as if this is a withdrawal though - in that I give up my office, return text books things like that - so that I am forced to have a complete break and not be thinking about what I think I 'should be' doing. Makes sense.
In the meantime I've come down with a stinking head cold that I just can't seem to shake.....I guess I'm so run down that I'll be prone to picking up everything that is going around for a while. Multivitamins and minerals here I come. Getting cold sores (haven't had one for over ten years) and styes in my eyes too - sure signs of being run down.

I still have sore breasts and I'm still spotting exactly three weeks to the day since the D and C. Since I still have sore breasts and my bras and jeans still don't fit again I decided - mainly out of curiosity - to take a home pregnancy test. Guess what? Still positive. Got myself into a bit of a panic that this may mean that I'm still retaining pregnancy tissue. I called the Womens' Assessment Unit and explained the situation - hCG can take anywhere from 4-6 weeks to reach undetectable levels especially if they were high to begin with - and mine were - 75000 IU/ ul

Explains the sore breasts and tingling nipples.....thank God I don't have morning sickness anymore. And I'm still getting the proctalgia fugax/levator ani or whatever it is. That pain started when I fell pregnant and was particularly bad immediately after the D and C so I wonder if it has more to do with my uterus or cervix or pelvic floor than my anus or rectum??!!! Ah well I've got a check up with my GP tomorrow - might even be free if I can give a positive pregnancy test!!!

I just want all this ill health and these upsets to end - please God haven't I suffered enough over the past year???!!

Psychologists, credit notes, scratchies and proctalgia fugax

Today I spent my last $2.00 on a scratchie with the hope of winning $5.00 or more to enable me to purchase a flat white (coffee). However, this sudden burst of gambling failed to yield a result :(  Stuck with plunger coffee today - it just doesn't hit the spot.
I also returned an item to the pharmacy that my husband had purchased and had hoped I would get cash or money reimbursed to my card - but oh no - this particular pharmacy is now one of the growing number of retailers that only give out credit notes....arggghhhhh...don't you hate that?

Today saw my return to my clinical psychologist. I didn't go last week because my son decided he was sick and couldn't go to school. And I didn't attend the week before because I was having one of my episodes of proctalgia fugax or levator ani syndrome...which ever it is - painful butt cramps that go on for hours. As if someone has shoved a red hot broom handle up my back passage (not that I've ever experienced anything like that to know what it feels like)!

Anyway -  psychologist thought that I was having trouble attending because of some psychological thing - some difficulty in getting there or something she had said that had upset me. I had to set the record straight and tell her there was nothing like that.....in fact I had been heaps better, able to leave the house on my own etc, etc....see previous posts.....until this last week - see setback post.
Today's talk was about my unbearable pain and stiffness in my neck and upper back. She/we decided that my not knowing the outcome of scholarships and my having been called in by my son's teacher about his inability to sit still in class are ....well...literally a 'pain in the neck'

Goodness knows what the butt cramps are about then?! Being 'sick of all this shit', being 'anally retentive', holding on to all my shit????......or is it all just muscular tension over my entire body?

Getting far too Freudian with all these metaphors.

Sigh....I just need to know if I'm going to be getting any funding to complete my PhD (and to fund my caffeine addiction)!

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired