Mirena is out

15th December 

Last night was the second session of  the L.I.F.E course and again it was really good. I'd had a rough time during the day. Was fine during the course and then felt sort of flu like afterwards - but it didn't come to anything.
It's been removed, the Mirena - was a piece of cake - didn't feel a thing - didn't even realise she'd removed it - the placing of the speculum was the most uncomfortable thing. So relieved - I swear, I have less lower abdominal discomfort already. Nearly four years....wow. It will be interesting to see how the next couple of months pan out.
Felt quite good for a while after getting that out - but going to the Mall with DH to get some Christmas shopping done perhaps wasn't a good idea....bright fluorescent lights, people everywhere...pushing and shoving....it was too much....my head developed a cramp on the left hand side and I felt very unsteady and woozy.

Completely freaked out once home....crying and crying - I can't describe it - unbelievable distress, discomfort, torture - every minute of every hour. So exhausted from all this.

16th December

And again today - despite using distraction techniques; still the unsteadiness and sudden woozy spells - then off I'd go again - freaked out, shitting myself (literally). It didn't help that I was picking up my son and another boy from their last day at school and look after them both for three hours. How could I possibly do it? Visions of myself passing out and leaving two 5 year old boys to their own devices.

I have noticed though - I do breathe very shallowly - I must be chronically hyperventilating. I tried to breathe more deeply - you know...that diaphragmatic breathing. It only made me more aware of by body......

Its been a really rough week....and now Aunt Flo seems to have arrived again - early...perhaps that's why all the panic. Premenstrual. Tomorrow should be better.

Mirena not coming out today. I freaked...was too damn chicken to be by myself. I've had about 4 various IUD's put in and removed over the years - no problem what-so-ever but today I just couldn't get over thinking I was going to pass out afterwards (or in the waiting room waiting beforehand) when trying to pay. Some vasovagal response or something. Damn it, Damn it. I'm so damn useless and hopeless. How pathetic - 40 years old and terrified in my own skin.

It could have been out by now. Oh well...re-booked for Thursday when husband can come too - it might be useful if ***** is there because we can talk with GP about my depression, the medication etc. And  if doctor tries to talk me out of having it removed there will be two against one!

Mirena...the trigger of all this?????

Well I was feeling OK and upbeat and looking forward to working on improving. We had friends coming to stay for the weekend to attend a wedding - and we were looking after their nearly 3 year old son.
Our room needed to be prepared for their stay - change sheets on the bed and set up a bed for their son. I undertook that task and cleaned the rest of the house as well. It was good to get the exercise! But.......I couldn't wind down afterwards...I found myself unable to sit still. I was extremely agitated and it freaked me out. My husband and son were out at a birthday party. I thought I might have been feeling apprehensive because our friend is a Clinical Psychologist. I took an 8th of a Clonazepam and by the time they arrived I had calmed down somewhat.

Sunday morning had attack on way to taking our son to his swimming lesson. Husband wondering if it is all due the Mirena because all the nausea and retching started within two months of having that inserted. But I've brought this up with two GPs and the Gyn and they've all said it is unlikely. I'm not so sure - why is all this happening for the most part in the second part of the month? We're waiting for the perimenopause blood tests and will see if that yields anything. And I'm going to have the Mirena removed anyway. I've read heaps of reports of it exacerbating panic and depression - even triggering it some women who have never had panic or depression before. And then there are the weight gain, nausea and vomiting side effects and mild period like pain for the second part of the month. oh BINGO!!!!!!

Anyway - had a hormone sick like headache all day and still have it this morning.....and you know what I'm like about headaches?! My throat feels irritated too but that could be from the vomiting, retching and heartburn stuff. Although freaking that I'm getting the sore throat that some of the Mums have and that this sore throat and headache will kill me.

So I had a huge Panic attack on the way to taking our son to school. I was sitting in the car parked nearby crying and crying and probably hyperventilating. A woman across the road signalled to me - asking if I was OK.  ***** was being so sweet and trying to help me, rubbing my back - telling me I'd be OK and it will get better and he loves me :/  Then the woman across the road came over and hugged me - she clearly knew what was happening. Turns out she has experienced one such attack - she didn't know what it was but was in the hospital at the time. She helped me walk my son in to school and to make sure I was OK to get back home. So very kind - restored my faith in human nature :)

Here are a few of the Mirena effects reported by women:

Headache/migraine
Nervousness
Back pain
Weight increase
Breast pain/tenderness
Acne

Abdominal/pelvic pain
Nausea
Decreased libido
Vomiting
Anaemia
Alopecia
Eczema
Abdominal distension
Altered mood/Depression
Hirsutism
Suicidal Thoughts
Respiratory Problems(bronchitis, mono, asthma, etc.)
Pain in fingers, hands, arms, legs, etc.
Tingling and Vibration in various parts of the body
Heart PalpitationsInsomnia
Thyroid problems

and much more...

That's it......it can't do any harm to have it removed - I'm booked in for tomorrow...can't wait