Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Groundhog day - same old s**t - but I must stop fighting/resisting




Another day same symptoms - back pain, chest tightness, all kinds of aches and pains, throat clearing, reflux, nausea, brain fog, heavy head, feeling faint/unsteady, shallow breathing - breath holding, too scared to go anywhere...can't leave the house - trouble moving from one room to the next. Constant fretting that I'm dying and doctors have missed something. Constant fretting that I'll get all the illnesses going around at the moment despite taking olive leaf extract.

But my psychologist tells me I need to stop fighting the symptoms and just observe with interest after all: anxiety follows the universal principle – The more you resist, the more it persists - and what you accept you go beyond.



I'm going to go to the library now to pick up the books I have on hold and I'll try this observation business out - back soon


Well that wasn't so bad....I was hoping to be able to rush into the library and rush out again via the self-checkout. One of the books wouldn't scan so I had to wait in the queue (not good with queues), whilst waiting I realised that the barcode for checkout was on the front of this particular book and not the back as they usually are. Scanned again - stopped to look at Margaret Mahy books on the way out (NZ's childrens' literary great died yesterday). And picked up an SPCA cupcake day brochure (I've been doing some cake decorating).


Then I thought I'd brave getting a flat white (coffee). Ordered and then saw the row of orders :(  Ah well....I'll look at the condiments and min gingerbread men for sale. Ah NO!!!! A stupid woman who was last took the coffee of the woman waiting before me....now things have to be done again and I need to wait longer for mine........but I coped fine. Wow!!! The only time I felt 'funny' was walking back to the car.....my legs felt funny - oh...just observe them - how interesting my legs feel a bit funny, like jelly, like lead...how interesting!!

Hmmmm...that seemed to work :)

Thought I might even go and sit in the car at the beach and drink my coffee - but no...don't want to stretch myself too much for one day.




 







No comments:

Post a Comment