Well....I completely flipped on Tuesday of last week. I was about to turn 41 on the Thursday, my husband was to be away for work again. On the Monday I felt I had better go and see my doctor because I had two big pustulous sores in my right ear - I couldn't hear properly. I panicked outside the doctors and then again in the waiting room.....I came over all hot and shaky and flu like and was convinced that this was the moment I was going to die.
I got up and somehow made my way over to reception and said something like: "Err I'm having a bit of a panic attack". The receptionist must have seen it all before because she quickly and discretely whisked me away to the nurses station - where they took my temp and other vitals and rendered me to be fine (apart from the panic).
Saw my GP about my ear and got a prescription for ear drops - well...EYE drops.....to put in my ear. Then we talked about my anxiety. yes...it had gone from bad to worse again. I said I was going to call my psychiatrist to have my medication reassessed. So my GP called herself because she didn't think I would - smart lady!
Tuesday morning....crying , crying, crying and more panic - a nurse from the community mental health centre had to come and get me. Took me to see the new psychiatric registrar.
Long story short - I was to up my Fluoxetine to 60mg and start taking Clonazepam (Paxam, Klonopin, Rivotril) twice a day for a few week - to try and dampen/suppress the anxiety and panic and enable my body to recover. I was to take 0.5 mg twice a day but 0.25 twice a day is rendering me a zombie!
I know Marceline is a vampire - but she has a zombie dog - Schwabl!
Well something like that sure is happening - I CANNOT physically have a panic attack, I'm now a zombie. I keep wanting/needing to lie down and I've slept much of the past week - day and night. My head and body feel leaden. Well at least I've stopped fighting now......my body is getting rest - I think...that is if these pills are screwing with me. I don't even care....that's how lax they've made me feel.
Probably the most unpleasant birthday I've ever had despite all the wonderful things other people did for me :(
I've been told that the sedation will pass as I get used to the drug and it will continue to exert its anxiolytic effect. Hope these headaches go too.....maybe its all just residual muscle tension and my body has a lot of catching up to do????
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